A Year of Starcraft II
I had this dream last night that was both hilarious and terrifying:
I was apparently competing in an SC2 tournament, on the stage. I could hear casters talking about the match as we started up. I don’t remember who was playing or who was casting, but I was completely and utterly terrified. Everybody around me was staring at me as the game started up. Hands shaking, I missed the drone split and sent a group way, way off and didn’t catch it quickly. I heard the casters laughing and making fun of the play. “Oh, well, isn’t he pro,” etc. As the game went on, it was constant comments like that in my ear. “Who is this guy?” “What is he doing?” Everyone in the audience was laughing as my opponent reamed me. Strangely, the last thing I can remember is a caster saying, “Naniwa, lol.” (in reference to a picture of JP’s notes I saw in a picture on reddit). I woke up laughing from the final comment and with a definite case of performance anxiety.
I’m still in that place where I’m not sure what I’m doing is making a difference. Focusing on overlords this week has helped. I’ve gotten my own little schedule down into a focus on one thing for a day, then play to win the next day. It helps, keeps the focus fresh in my mind, but doesn’t let me wander like I do if I try to work on one thing for a week. I already have less of an issue with this, but I am worried that shifting my focus will once again move this into a problem area. Someone had asked in comments if it was a problem, and I am sure it is. It was every third game or so an attack would be coming and I’d be blocked, with plenty of minerals and larvae. I know it’s an issue and because of my day on/day off training, I’m going to keep at it for a while. I’ve lost these little things along the way, and I’m not going to improve if I don’t fix them.
I haven’t streamed much lately, partly because I’m playing at later times and partly because of how bad I feel at how crap I still am. It makes it harder to just enjoy myself when I think about people watching, especially when nothing is said and I have a truly horrible game. Perhaps it’s those feelings that led to the dream. I will at least stream a couple times a week, at varying times, but am going to stay on this little mini break from streaming.
It’s been suggested that I post replays here, for some comments on my play and what I can improve. I will do this for my next post, in a couple of days. I’ll gather the games where I both thought I did things well and poorly. I think a pack of four, one vs each class and a stand out game.
Until then, GLHR.