A Year of Starcraft II
I don’t know why I got so upset tonight, but I did. I mean, I’m aware that it’s just a game and doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. But in those few minutes at the end of an absolutely horridly played game by me, I got all flushed, my brain ceased to want to actually think about anything helpful, and I started to tense up. It was like all the patience and not-giving-a-shit that I normally have drained right out of me. I almost threw my mouse across the room. I wasn’t upset at my opponent, or any perceived imbalance in the game, but at my own shoddy play. I mean, for christ’s sake, how many times was I going to dump 100 supply into his deathball? Why did I wait so long to build the goddamn corruptors? Why the hell did I not have a ling or overlord scout at each and every base on the map? Where are the fucking overseers, you dumbass? His DTs are killing your drones!
I’m annoyed at how much I suck at this game. I try to work on my weaknesses, but every time I shore one up, another pops up or returns. Maybe I’m tired, I don’t know. I’m bored in general, so I’ve been retreating to Starcraft. It’s been ten days straight of play (I thought I didn’t get a day off this week and kept playing, but that was last week, actually) and I may be a little fried. I’m going to take tomorrow off, if I can.
As annoyed as I am with myself right now, I still want to get back on and play. I know I can do better. I, in general, know what I have to do, but constantly don’t do it in the heat of a game. My build order can work perfectly, but it’s as if my brain ceases all critical thinking in the middle of a game. I see a four-gate coming, I build drones. He’s got a deathball? More hydras. It’s immensely frustrating because there’s no one to blame but myself.
I’m going to try and chill out now. I’ll be back at it Friday. I’m not giving up. Not by a long shot.
Goodnight and GLHF.